


Research

by juiceboxjellyfish



Series: Carry On Countdown 2017 [17]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Questioning, Third Year, at watford, but not really, experimenting, kind of, soft, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:49:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juiceboxjellyfish/pseuds/juiceboxjellyfish
Summary: In this altered version of their third year at Watford, Penny and Agatha are unsure about wether they're straight. They try to find out together if they like girls or not.





	Research

PENNY

Agatha and I are sitting in her room. Simon is off with the Mage on some mission, whatever that means, which means that Agatha and I are alone. We really don’t have a lot to talk about, and have been sitting in silence for a while, staring out the window. Agatha breaks the silence.  
“Penny” she says hesitantly, “do you think Simon likes me?”  
I don’t even look away from the window.  
“Definitely” I respond. “No doubt about it. Why?” I turn to look at Agatha, who’s tugging at her skirt.  
“Well I’ve suspected it for a while, and I don’t know how I feel about it” she explains.  
“What’s the issue? I thought you liked Simon” I say. Agatha tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.  
“Well I think I do… I mean he’s the chosen one and we’re friends and he’s good looking and all… I’m just not sure if I like him as much as I’m supposed to. Do you think he’ll ask me out?” she asks.  
“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be soon too” I respond honestly. Agatha looks down at her skirt and starts frantically smoothing out the wrinkles from when she tugged at it earlier.  
“I don’t know what I should say if he does! I don’t know if I like him! I don’t even know if…”  
She doesn’t finish the sentence.  
“If what?” I ask. “Come on Agatha, you can trust me. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”  
She’s silent for a bit, but it feels like a nervous kind of silence and not an ignoring kind of silence.  
“I don’t even know if I… like boys” she admits very quietly, looking down at her now very still hands. I put my arm around her.  
“That’s okay” I whisper. “You don’t have to. Do you like girls?”  
She sniffles, and her hands start playing with the skirt fabric again.  
“I… I don’t know” she mumbles. “Maybe? I definitely think some girls are really pretty, but I don’t know if I like them or if I just wish I looked like them… and I don’t know if I’d want to be with one or kiss one.”  
My heart is beating pretty fast now and I’m almost feeling nauseous, but I say what’s on my mind anyway. Agatha clearly trusts me, I should trust her too.  
“Well… Sometimes I also think I might like girls” I admit. “But I’ve never kissed one or been with one either, so I don’t know.”  
Agatha is silent for a while, and a pink hue spreads across her cheeks. She tucks back a lock of hair that’s almost falling out from behind her ear.  
“What if…” she begins, blushing even more and avoiding eye contact with me, “we tried kissing each other? I’m not saying that I like you or anything, or that I want to kiss you specifically, but if we both want to find out if we like girls…” she trails off, leaving the sentence there.  
I consider it. It might be weird, but I do want to know what kissing a girl would be like. And Agatha is very pretty. And we both know it’s just an experiment, so there are no weird emotions attached… maybe it’s not a bad idea. And if we want to try it, now is the best time. We can’t know when Simon’s gonna run off without us again.  
“Sure” I say. “Let’s kiss. But just to be clear, this is purely research.”  
“Yeah” she agrees. “Research.”

I’ve never kissed a boy so I don’t have a lot to compare it to, but girls are very soft. At least Agatha is. And her lips taste like chapstick or lipgloss or something. She has placed her hand gently on my face, and her hand is soft and smooth too. Also she smells better than any boy I’ve met. Something flowery and dainty, a very girly scent. My hand is on her shoulder because I didn’t know what to do with it, and I can feel her hair against it. That’s also soft.

 

AGATHA

I wonder if this is Penny’s first kiss. Not because she’s bad, but because I don’t know who she would’ve kissed. The thought that I might be her first kiss ever turns something in my stomach, but not necessarily in a bad way. I’ve kissed boys before, and I never really felt anything. This is softer, more careful. Her skin is warm, and she’s kissing me very carefully to make sure she doesn’t do anything wrong or weird.

 

PENNY

The kiss lasts a bit longer than what we originally intended. It’s a little bit awkward, since neither of us are exactly masters of kissing, but it’s nice. Nothing mind blowing or life changing, but nice.   
Agatha pulls away, and we look at each other for a bit.   
“So, what do you think?” I ask.  
“It was… nice. You’re very gentle. I think I liked it better than the kisses I’ve had with boys” she replies. “What do you think?”  
“You’re soft, and I have nothing to compare it to but I think it was nice. You smell good” I say.  
“It’s funny that you brought the soft thing up, because I was thinking that too. Girls are soft” she agrees. I nod.  
“Do you think you like girls?” I ask, because that was the point of this experiment.  
“I don’t know. One kiss isn’t a lot to go on” she responds. Without thinking, I give her a quick peck on the cheek.  
“How about two kisses?” I ask. She smiles softly.  
“I still don’t know. But I’m not totally opposed to kissing a girl again.”  
She blushes, and I feel my cheeks heat up too.  
“Do you want to hold a girl’s hand?” I ask, laying my open hand between us on the bed.  
“Sure” she says, and grabs it.

Neither of us know what this is or what it’s going to be, but it’s nice. I’m fine with it.

**Author's Note:**

> You're allowed other headcanons, but the way this all ends in my head is kind of like this:  
> Penny and Agatha date secretly for a while to see if they like girls or not but end up breaking up the same year. Penny meets Micah that summer and gets together with him, but Agatha never dates Simon.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you liked it, or heck, leave a comment if you hated it!


End file.
